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Showing posts with label being positive. Show all posts
Showing posts with label being positive. Show all posts

Toxic Positivity

Have you ever heard anyone say these phrases?

  • Don't be so negative!
  • It will all be fine.
  • Look at the bright side.
  • Don't worry about it.
Toxic Positivity: Is it possible to be too positive? Here are some reasons why it can be, and what to do when someone is positively toxic.

 How about these?

  • Think only happy thoughts.
  • Good vibes only.
  • Happiness is a choice.
  • Everything happens for a reason.
  • There are plenty of people who have it worse.

These phrases are usually  spoken with the intention of being kind. 

But seriously, do they ever make you feel differently?

There really is a thing known as "toxic positivity." It's great to have a positive attitude, and to try to be happy. But some people go overboard. When that happens, it can be maddening!

Being positive all the time encourages one to suppress negative feelings, which leads to all sorts of physical and emotional issues such as mental illness, heart disease, insomnia, digestive problems and autoimmune disease.

We have life experiences that include good feelings and bad feelings. I confess, there have been times in my life where I have buried my negative feelings. It wasn't the best choice, but honestly, it was the only choice I had at the time. (Like when I suddenly became a single parent.) 

I wouldn't recommend it.

Negative feelings are real. They should be validated. People should be allowed to grieve. People need empathy and compassion. People need someone who cares.

The biggest problem with toxic positivity is that it brings shame. It's isolating and demoralizing. And more often than not, it makes a person feel even worse about real emotions they are feeling.

I've watched a few videos on Youtube that explain it far better than I can!



I hope these were helpful!

Here are some ideas on how to avoid toxic positivity:

Never put a person down for having feelings!

Toxic Positivity: Is it possible to be too positive? Here are some reasons why it can be, and what to do when someone is positively toxic.
Sometimes there really isn't a bright side, and people are hurting! Don't brush them off when they need you!
 
Seriously, really bad things happen. Happiness isn't always a choice.

I think this is the one that annoys me the most. How could a person really compare your feelings to someone else? We are all different and unique, and we all need empathy and compassion more than comparisons.

Ideas for handling when someone gives toxic positivity instead of empathy and compassion.

It's ok to let it out. There are socially acceptable ways to let it out. Please don't hold it in.

Don't be the "giver" of toxic positivity!

It's ok to hurt. It's ok to grieve. It's all ok. In fact, it's human, and it's healthy. (You might not want to grieve 24/7, but it's important to let it out.)

Let your friends and work companions see good examples of dealing with feelings. Teach through example.

It's not always possible to avoid those "fair weather friends" but we can try to spend most of our time with people who can show compassion and caring.
 
I truly believe it's possible to be positive much of the time. But don't let it become toxic, and don't let it bury valid feelings.
 
And try to remember, the people who are doing this mean well.

Toxic Positivity: Is it possible to be too positive? Here are some reasons why it can be, and what to do when someone is positively toxic.


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