Have you ever heard anyone say these phrases?
- Don't be so negative!
- It will all be fine.
- Look at the bright side.
- Don't worry about it.
How about these?
- Think only happy thoughts.
- Good vibes only.
- Happiness is a choice.
- Everything happens for a reason.
- There are plenty of people who have it worse.
These phrases are usually spoken with the intention of being kind.
But seriously, do they ever make you feel differently?
There really is a thing known as "toxic positivity." It's great to have a positive attitude and to try to be happy, but some people go overboard. When that happens, it can be maddening!
Being positive all the time encourages one to suppress negative feelings, which leads to all sorts of physical and emotional issues, such as mental illness, heart disease, insomnia, digestive problems, and autoimmune diseases.
We have life experiences that include good feelings and bad feelings. I confess that there have been times in my life when I have buried my negative feelings. It wasn't the best choice, but honestly, it was my only choice at the time. (Like when I suddenly became a single parent.)
I wouldn't recommend it.
Negative feelings are real. They should be validated. People should be allowed to grieve. They need empathy, compassion, and someone who cares.
The biggest problem with toxic positivity is that it brings shame. It's isolating and demoralizing. And more often than not, it makes a person feel even worse about their real emotions.
I've watched a few videos on YouTube that explain it far better than I can!
I hope these were helpful!
Here are some ideas on how to avoid toxic positivity:
This is the one that annoys me the most. How could a person really compare your feelings to someone else? We are all different and unique and need empathy and compassion more than comparisons.